


Writing in Constellations

by Spyloaf



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Akaashi Keiji-centric, Background Relationships, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Coming Out, Established Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Fukuroudani, Fukuroudani Volleyball Club - Freeform, Going public with a relationship is scary and Akaashi learns to grapple with it, Kind of ?? They just aren't like out to the public, Long-Distance Relationship, Lots of big metaphors that I hope make sense to other people lmao, M/M, MSBY Black Jackals - Freeform, Minor Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Osamu and Akaashi friendship, Post-Time Skip, Secret Relationship, Slow Build, There are more characters mentioned but those one are more integral to the actual plot, There's also an anime convention scene :), kinda ??, relationship study kinda, somewhat non-linear, sorta?? they go public at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spyloaf/pseuds/Spyloaf
Summary: Akaashi Keiji takes control of his own fate by grabbing the pen and writing it himself, but only after many hours of overthinking and a strangely, stressful experience at an anime convention of all places. He learns what it truly means to be the protagonist of his own story through his relationship with Bokuto Koutarou. In which, he finds the right words to share his life and love with the world.Or, in other words: Akaashi Keiji realizes that humans assign meanings to the stars in order to share them with the world. So, he shares his favorite constellation with the world.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Miya Osamu, Akaashi Keiji & Udai Tenma, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Writing in Constellations

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thanks for clicking on my fic!! First, I just want to apologize if the Osamu part gets kinda funky because this was my first real attempt at writing a dialect. Also, Akaashi refers to himself as Keiji and to Bokuto as Koutarou, purely because I don't think he'd internally refer to himself by his family name. Also, him and Bokuto have been seeing each other for awhile, so he would see no need for any formalities between them.
> 
> I'm also shit at writing summaries, I'm so sorry. 
> 
> Big thanks to my friend JQ for beta-ing this for me !!!

Akaashi Keiji felt like he had been running his whole life, running from an invisible force that no one could see but himself. In actuality, he was running  _ from _ himself, from his own thoughts. Only a few moments struck out to him against the whole grand reel of his life thus far. Only a select few moments, feelings, where he truly gained control of his fate. 

The moment he first saw a star rising to its brightest point, was the true beginning of his journey against himself. In that moment, he grabbed the pen that was writing his fate in red ink and took control of it.

He continued in that trajectory when began to toss to that same star,  to help part the clouds so that everyone on Earth could see how brightly it shined.

In the moment of that first toss, Akaashi Keiji connected with the star and they created a constellation.

  
  


* * *

Akaashi Keiji would have never imagined himself attending an anime convention, but here he was standing in the middle of a crowded dealers room trailing Udai Tenma, the mangaka he edited for. Udai was invited here as guest for a panel about horror mangas for Zom’bish, and so Keiji was asked to accompany him for whatever reason. It’s not like he cared too much, there wasn’t any big deadline coming up soon and it’s not like he had anything else to do. It’s just that he wasn’t very invested in the culture of it all - admittedly, he never had been. Being a Manga editor was not his first choice. Getting where you wanted to be in life was never an easy journey, and of course he was disappointed when he wasn’t able to land a job as a literature editor, but he was still young, there was still time left, right? 

Udai’s panel had been over for quite some time at this point, and now they were just exploring the convention since they had the time. Apparently, the young mangaka wanted to pick up some mangas and other things from some of the dealers and look at the independent artists’ work being sold in the artist’s alley. Most of these terms were new to him. 

Keiji awkwardly stood at the edge of a large booth selling manga as Udai paid the dealer for a few volumes. Looking around every corner he saw large posters and banners for various animes and mangas, all featuring bright and distinctive protagonists. They probably went on some grand journey in their stories, went from the bottom to the top. Most people would look at these drawings and think of the actual contents of the series they were promoting, but all Akaashi saw was a deep reminder of what it was like to be in the presence of a star - a presence that he desperately wished to be in again. 

“Hey, are you good? If you aren't feeling well you can leave, you know?” Udai came up behind him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He was obviously unaware of Keiji’s yearning. 

“I’m fine, it's just,” he pursed his lips, “A lot to take in. I’ll admit I’ve never been to one of these before.” Udai didn’t really seem to buy his excuse, but he let him off this time. Being a writer, he was extremely perceptive - which is a fact that Keiji both loves and hates about the man.

“Hmmm Well, if you’re bored we could always attend a panel?” The shorter man suggested, “I think Kodzuken’s holding a Q&A soon, that might be interesting!” 

Again, Udai was completely oblivious. Keiji just snorted, it’s not like he would know that he was one of Kodzuken’s close friends - he rarely ever mentioned anything about his personal life. But, the suggestion of him attending a Q&A, as if he was some blushing fangirl, for Kozume Kenma, the once quiet, pudding haired, second year setter for Nekoma High School, was absurd to him. The mangaka was obviously confused by his reaction. 

Part of Keiji wanted to tell him that he knew Kodzuken personally. Then he would be able to call Kenma and possibly meet up with him, to make this experience a little more bearable even if he had to put up with both Udai’s overenthusiasism and Kuroo just generally being a pain in the ass. And, there was no doubt in his mind that young Japan’s Volleyball Association PR Representative wouldn’t be accompanying the streamer to his panel. 

“I didn’t think it was that bad of an idea!!!” Udai huffed, “You don’t really talk about your interests beyond literature and poetry, and I thought a Q&A with  _ The World Famous  _ Kodzuken would be interesting to anyone! Plus, you kind of have a thing for picking apart people and their psyches.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. 

“No! That’s not it!” Keiji waved, trying to calm him down - the mangaka could always be a bit over excitable. “I just don’t think I would find it interesting that’s all. I don’t really watch his content, nor do I know much about video games.” 

Well, it wasn’t a  _ lie _ . He barely has time to watch Koutarou’s matches, let alone Kenma’s seven hour streams. 

Udai sighed, seemingly content with the answer Keiji gave him. 

They continued to walk down the rows of booths, selling everything from figurines and plushies to individual manga chapters and doujinshis. Apparently, they hadn’t quite gotten to the artist’s alley yet, whatever that meant. Udai idly spoke to him about several of the series he was buying volumes or merchandise for, he knew some of their mangakas personally apparently. It all went through one ear and out the other as he passed by a poster for some sports anime, which prompted his thoughts from before to come surging back into the front of his mind.

From the first moment he saw Bokuto Koutarou, he believed that if there were such a thing as a protagonist to this world, that it was him. Koutarou was a star, not just on the court but off it as well, he was easily one of the most popular volleyball players to date. When Koutarou went pro, he was anything but surprised to find out that he would be playing for one of the best division 1 teams. Both children and adults loved him, which didn’t surprise Keiji. Japan loved Bokuto Koutarou, he was a national treasure, however, Keiji’s love for the man ran deeper than the rest of Japan’s. When Bokuto eventually had to retire, Keiji would be there to celebrate his career with him, when he was old and gray, unable to play the sport he dedicated his life to, Keiji would be there to console him. 

When Akaashi Keiji was fifteen, he stumbled upon a shooting star, and now at twenty-two he finds himself following the trajectory of the same star on its path to glory. A path that he chose for himself all those years ago, when decided to go to Fukuroudani Academy - all to play volleyball with one boy, to be the setter for one spiker, to be a part of a rising star’s path to greatness. 

Keiji was thankful that Koutarou wanted him to be more than just a footnote in his story, a minor figure in the exposition, that the admiration and love that poured out of Keiji for the owl-like ace of Fukuroudani was reciprocated. That on that cold night in his second year of university, Bokuto Koutarou, his former captain and ace, the man he once set for and watched grow from a moody teenager to a true star, admitted that he loved him back. 

Bokuto was no longer the sole protagonist of his story, together they were both the protagonists of their own, intertwined story. They were the proverbially protagonists of their world, or at least of their own. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Keiji has thought that Bokuto Koutarou was a star since he first saw him play in high school. He’s always been a star, but watching Bokuto play his first professional V-League game as a starter, was when he really truly saw him shine. 

The man had always had a radiance, a natural sparkle to him, there was something about him that drew you into him. Keiji had always recognized this, but right now, seeing Bokuto serve for the first time in the game, made him realize just how far the man had come since high school. It made him see how  _ well  _ adulthood has treated Bokuto, he had calmed down some, but his magnitude had only grown stronger since he graduated. 

Keiji watched the game from the sidelines with the rest of the old Fukuroudani team, they were all collectively cheering on their old friend and teammate. However, in the split second before Bokuto threw the ball in the air to execute a jump serve, Keiji and his former captain made eye contact. His golden eyes were wide, seemingly searching for something in Keiji’s expression. He gave him a small reassuring smile and a small nod of the head, trying to speak a thousand encouraging words to the formally temperamental player with just one glance.

Bokuto smiled widely in response.

In that moment, Akaashi Keiji felt the entire stadium fade away, the crowds and distance were gone, and all that stood in its wake were the two of them.

The planets aligned for a small moment, for a single breath and glance, and fate showed him just how bright a star could shine.

The stars wrote how, despite the time and distance, a constellation will always remain intact, becoming visible once again even if it is just for a split second. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Now, the status of their relationship was information kept between themselves and their close friends, Udai was unaware of all of this. It’s not like the V-League wanted them to keep their relationship private, actually, the league was very supportive of them. It’s just that Keiji has always been a private person, and with him still being new to his job as an editor, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to quite go public yet. It wasn’t easy, he wanted nothing more than to allow Bokuto to gush about him online whenever he felt like it, but Keiji just wasn’t there yet. He wasn’t ready for the attention that going public would bring.

Plus, it’s not like he got to spend a ton of time with Koutarou anymore anyways. He spent most of his time in Osaka with the Black Jackals, while Keiji lived in Tokyo. Now, he did come to visit at least once a month, sometimes more, and they lived together in the off season, but he couldn’t help but want  _ more _ from the relationship. He wanted the ability to wake up next to the man he loved everyday, but that just wasn’t possible with their individual careers. 

However, Keiji wanted nothing more than for it to be possible. 

Keiji was vaguely aware that Udai had announced that they had arrived at the artist’s alley section of the dealers room, but he was too focused on the large display of prints and merchandise in front of him. The last thing he expected to see at a convention was a whole booth dedicated to fan made V-League merch. There were several large posters displaying fanart of several of the players, but Keiji’s eyes were immediately drawn to the one of Bokuto. He was smiling, flashing his signature Bokuto Beam, and holding his hands triumphantly in the air - it was still from his serve routine. 

Keiji’s chest swelled. 

“Are you okay?” Udai asked, looking towards the booth that he was intently staring at, “Oh! I didn’t know you liked volleyball?” 

“I do,” Keiji looked down at the shorter man, “I know I don’t look like the type, but I played during high school. I don’t play anymore, don’t have the time, but I still love it.” 

Udai smiled brightly, “I did too! I was a wing spiker, actually, I was the ace! I know that probably seems ridiculous given my size, but I was pretty good! My team went to nationals a few times!” He put his hands on his hips, with a cocky smile on his face. He looked ridiculous, but Keiji believed him. His story felt awfully similar to another one he had heard- Oh.

Udai Tenma was from the Miyagi Prefecture, and was a former member of his high school’s volleyball team. He played as the starting wing spiker, the  _ ace _ , and helped his team get to nationals a few times. He would have attended high school around 3 or 4 years prior to Keiji.

Udai Tenma, also, stands at a measly 170 centimeters. 

If Keiji’s assumption is correct, then Udai Tenma is Karasuno’s former Little Giant. The same Little Giant that inspired Hinata Shouyou all those years ago.

Hmmm Interesting. 

“What? Is there something on my face?” Udai cocked his head, Keiji hadn’t realized he had been staring. 

“You're from Miyagi, right?” 

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re Karasuno’s original Little Giant, aren’t you?” Keiji asked the question so matter-a-factly that it visibly took Udai back. I mean there probably wasn’t any reason why Keiji should know about Udai’s former title, well, at least not one that Udai was aware of. When you’ve known Hinata Shouyou since his first year in high school, you absolutely knew about Karasuno’s Little Giant.

“H-How did you know?” Udai gaped at him. Keiji laughed, a rare sight these past few months.

“Hmm, well it wasn’t hard to figure out. I just pieced together the information you just gave me with what I already knew about both you and Karasuno’s  _ legendary _ Little Giant,” Udai blushed at this.

“But, you’re from Tokyo! How do you even know about Karasuno? Let alone all the stuff about the Little Giant?” It was sort of amusing seeing how confused the mangaka was at his observation. 

“I’ve known Hinata long enough to know who the Little Giant is,” he let out a sigh, “Plus, I went to Fukuroudani Academy, you know, one of Japan’s most notorious powerhouse schools for volleyball. So, of course, I knew about Karasuno. Especially considering Nekoma invited them to our summer training camps my second year, so I’m well acquainted with many of their alumni.” Keiji smiled, it felt nice to be able to connect with Udai for once. They worked together closely and were around one another constantly, sure, but they didn’t know much about each other’s personal lives. 

“Wait, you know Hinata?” 

“Yes, I do. I met him at the aforementioned summer training camps, it was during his first year. Plus, my partner likes to think of himself as a mentor of sorts to Hinata, so I’m well acquainted with him.” Keiji smiled shyly, he could feel the heat creeping up his neck. He knew Udai would pick up what he was saying, to some extent at least. It was scary to reveal this, so out in the open, but it was only fair. Udai had probably spent the last however long it had been since the man was in high school trying to escape his former title. The least Keiji could do was throw him a bone about his own personal life and hint at his relationship. 

Udai’s eyes widened, looking towards the poster of Bokuto across the aisle, and back at Keiji with a finger pointed at him. 

“Am I picking up on this correctly?” He gaped. 

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Keiji shrugged, walking over to the booth, promptly leaving a stunned Udai Tenma with his own thoughts in the middle of a crowd alone. 

The booth was entirely dedicated to the V-League, mostly Division 1 but it seemed like there was some love for the Division 2, as he spotted a small print of a familiar blonde middle-blocker sporting a Sendai Frogs jersey. Keiji wasn’t sure if he planned on buying anything when he walked up to the booth, but now that he was here, flipping through the prints, gazing at the selection of pins and charms, his mind was made up. This booth wasn’t going to be good for his bank account, but lucky for him, he rarely ever splurged. This was a treat for him. 

Keiji spotted a small owl charm, a great horned owl to be exact. He flipped it over from its spot on the display board, the cartoon owl’s feathers were shaped into Koutarou’s signature hairstyle, his golden eyes gleaming with joy just as the human Koutarou’s eyes did during a game, and to top it off the owl was even wearing a MSBY jersey with number 12 printed on the front. Keiji smiled, it was a clever piece of merchandise.

“Oh! Are you a Bokuto fan?” The young artist running the booth asked him.

“Yeah, I am,” Keiji said bashfully. He wanted to say he was his biggest fan, but he was never one to gloat like that. 

“Not many people understand the reference with that one,” The artist explained, “A lot of people forget that his twitter handle has ‘owl’ in it for some reason, and, well, his hair kinda looks like a great horned owl’s feathers.” The artist laughed sheepishly, but Keiji was listening intently, “I thought it was cute.” 

“It’s really clever,” Keiji admitted, “You hit it spot on. I mean he went to Fukuroudani Academy, right? Their mascot is an owl, so it’s fitting.”

“Oh, really! I wasn’t aware!” The artist had stars in her eyes, “How did you know that? If you don’t mind me asking, since that is such a niche piece of information.” 

“I had a few friends who went there,” He explained. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth either. But, she didn’t need to know that. This random girl didn’t need to know about the extensive history of Bokuto Koutarou and himself. She didn’t need to know how the two of them specifically annoyed Konoha Akinori and Washio Tatsuki with their endless pinning. She could stay obviously unaware of the list he made in high school of all of Bokuto’s weaknesses and just how to fix all of them and put him back in a good mood. She didn’t need to know how Kodzuken’s infamous boyfriend had tagged Bokuto as the “dumb owl with frosted tips” back in their first year of high school, and how the nickname stuck around to this day. The girl didn’t need to know about the extent of Keiji’s knowledge of Bokuto Koutarou, and all of the  _ niche _ facts he knew about the volleyball player. 

Keiji looked farther through her merchandise. Udai had joined him at one point, he’s not entirely sure if he was there before he started talking to the artist or not - it didn’t really matter either way. He ended up purchasing the small “Bokutowl” (as it had been named) charm, along with a few pins of the jersey’s of Bokuto, Washio, and several others, and of course copious amounts of prints. His favorite one was the large poser he saw first of Bokuto hyping up the crowd for his serve. He bought a few prints for a few of his friends, mainly he knew that Osamu would find the artist’s “Suna Rintarou Fox Sticker Set” would be greatly appreciated. It also might cause another infamous Miya Twins fight on Twitter based on the lack of merch Osamu had for Atsumu. Everyone knew that Osamu’s pride for his brother’s success stopped at buying his merchandise. 

Before leaving the booth he snapped a quick photo of its display and sent it to Kenma. Keiji wasn’t sure if the streamer was even aware of his presence at the convention, he doesn’t remember bringing it up, but he knew that Kuroo and him would want to purchase some things there, probably.

“Why did you take a picture? Are you going to send it to you-know-who?” Udai wiggled his eyebrows. Keiji was starting to regret telling him out about his relationship.

“No, actually, I’m not.” Keiji adjusted the bags in his hands. He was starting to feel a bit better, even if the dull ache in his chest refused to go away. 

“Then, who are you sending it to, oh so mysterious editor of mine?” Udai had a pension for dramatics, probably came with the territory of being a mangaka. Keiji just exhaled, maybe telling him the full truth here wouldn’t be bad. But, on the other hand he didn’t want the man to try and use him as a vip pass to meet famous gamers. 

“I’m sending it to another friend,” he gritted his teeth.

“And, who might that be?” Udai was annoyingly persistent sometimes. That’s probably how he got out of his deadlines so often, his persistency applied to everything but meeting his original deadlines.

“I don’t understand why this is of importance to you? It is my private life after all.” Keiji decided that he had revealed enough about himself in one day, he wasn’t one to like the feeling of vulnerability. He was also in a room full of people, a room which probably harbored hundreds of Kodzuken fans, and he wasn’t about to accidentally garner any unwanted attention from strangers at an anime convention of all places. “How about we just go grab something to eat, okay?” 

“Fine, have it your way,” Udai huffed, “But, we’re friends and it’s normal to want to know more about your friends’ personal lives.” 

Keiji never really thought of Udai as a friend, more of a work associate - a bit of an annoying one at that. But, he guessed they were close, in a way. They had both helped each other tremendously in the past, but yet Keiji still kept his guard up. 

They walked back towards the entrance of the convention hall where there were tables and chairs set up, along with a row of food vendors. He sat down the bag full of items he had just purchased at an open table, Udai followed suit. 

With a sigh, he asked, “Would you mind maybe buying us something? I need to sit for a second.” He wasn’t so much physically exhausted, but more mentally drained. For some reason, he just couldn’t get out of his head today; his thoughts wouldn’t stop chasing him, and his surroundings weren’t exactly helping him either. 

“Uh, sure? Do you want anything specific?” 

Keiji shook his head and took out his wallet, “Get whatever you like. I’m not picky.” With that, he handed the older man some yen and sat down at the table. 

He took a deep inhale, this was the first time he had been able to breathe since leaving his apartment this morning. Keiji glanced over at the stack of manga Udai had purchased, surprisingly he saw a few shoujo titles among the volumes of shonen and horror. He was never a big manga reader, the format was never his thing. The lack of detailed descriptions, the lack of inner monologues that entirely encapsulate how the characters view the world, and who they are, bothered him. Keiji, himself, had always been one who thought so much, always had a lot to say, but barely ever verbalized any of it. He viewed the world through the eyes of a writer, prescribing stories and attaching greater meanings to everything he saw. It’s probably what drew him to Koutarou in the first place, the ability to attach so much to him, to emphasize his actions and words, and connect it to something greater. Bokuto Koutarou was an interesting individual, he was a magnet that drew everyone in for some reason - and for Keiji it had been his passion. He showed that passion existed, that we didn’t just have to float through life like a leaf in the breeze - we could control our paths and dictate where they go. 

The shoujo manga continued to stare at him. That’s another thing he was never fond of: romance. Shoujo mangas were filled to the brim with it, every series containing a multitude of tropes about how the two main characters would eventually end up in each other’s arms. He never understood any of it, how could someone view the world through such rose tinted glasses? It was all just too unrealistic for him. But, then he found his own love, and he started to understand the appeal. Love made you ridiculous, it changed your perception of the world, and for Keiji it fundamentally changed it. His whole life he viewed himself as an extra, someone who watched the heroes from the sidelines, but then he met Bokuto. It was then that he understood what it was like to have a stake in your own story. Sure, he was the reason why Keiji attended Fukuroudani to begin with, but never did he think that he would actually end up becoming friends with the gray-haired ace, let alone falling for him. That kind of thing only happened in shoujo mangas? It was all incredibly cliched. 

But, in those two years he spent setting for Bokuto he had felt like he was at least semi-important. He had moved from nameless background character to a supporting character, at the very least, someone there to aid the hero along in their journey. But, after a particularly rough match at the Spring Nationals in his second year, Keiji understood that he was no longer an underdeveloped side note, a plot device for someone else’s development, he was his own person. His own protagonist. No matter what anyone said, in that moment and from that moment on, he viewed himself and Bokuto as the protagonists of the world. 

They were stars shining in the sky together. 

And in university, when Bokuto-san finally became Koutarou, he understood how people were able to write hundreds of stories about the sweetness of love. It changed your perception of the world by completing it. Keiji realized that while running through the streets of Tokyo, years ago, with Koutarou on one of their first dates. They did everything they could, experienced everything they loved again, but in the company of each other, fully knowing that they could share everything with one another. There were no walls up, they were completely vulnerable to one another - they were two souls melding together, as cheesy as that sounds. 

Those memories of days spent running through the streets, sharing sweets they bought from a street vendor, trying and failing to win each other prizes from claw machines made Keiji yearn for Koutarou even more. The intimate moments they shared in the shadows of the alleyways, hiding from the view of others - he reveled in the secrecy, and the thrill of it, but now just thinking about it leaves a dull pain in chest. There was a hole in his life without the presence of the other man. That large hole, that desperation to feel the touch of someone again, has begun to make him realize something. 

The protagonists of the manga he’s supposed to know about as an editor would never shy away from the truth. If truly felt like he was a protagonist, that he was in control, then why did he care so much about going public? Why was he afraid of the negative comments that were for sure going to be made? The protagonist isn’t supposed to worry about that. Keiji was never one to say very much, he was always quiet despite the grand conclusions he came to in his head. The ballads he wrote in his thoughts, that were imprinted behind his eyelids, but never made it past his throat. But, for once he’s finding himself having trouble restraining sharing the sonnets and poems he continuously made in his mind to describe his feelings, his relationship. He knew there was nothing Koutarou wanted more than to be able to share what they had with the world. 

Keiji allows himself to think about how nice it would be to declare all of the warmth and love he feels for him from the rooftops. Maybe, it would all be worth it because maybe then, this ache would go away. The world wouldn’t feel so lonely, when everyone knew about what he had. When he had nothing to hide.

Sincerity is a scary thought, but Keiji is starting to believe that it's all worth it.

This feeling, this was it for him, there was never really anyone before Koutarou, and there would never be anyone after him. 

“You’re not gonna fall asleep on me are you?” Keiji was, once again, shaken from his thoughts by the words of, one, Udai Tenma. “Akaashi, you know sometimes you need to try and take care of yourself, before you worry about others.” 

Keiji could feel his cheeks getting warm, like the man had caught him professing his love aloud. “Maybe, I’d be able to if you were more diligent about meeting your deadlines.” He quipped back.

Udai laughed, sitting a brown paper bag down on the table before taking a seat himself. The bag had a familiar onigiri printed on it. 

“Onigiri Miya is here?”

Udai nodded, “Yeah, they are! I know how you like them, and you seem really out of it today, so I thought I’d be nice!” He handed Keiji back his change, “Plus, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like their food too.” 

“Was Myaa-sam there?” Udai tilted his head questioningly, “Osamu, the owner?” 

“Oh! I think? I don’t know his name, but it's the regular guy who I see working at it.” So, Osamu was here hmm, maybe he’d go over and give him those stickers he had bought. But, also if Osamu is here, then there’s a good chance that Suna is hiding behind his booth somewhere on his phone. There’s also the possibility that his twin brother may also be in attendance. He slightly grimaces at this thought. 

“Thank you, though, Udai-san. I appreciate it.” Keiji grabbed the bag taking one of the onigiris out of it, “I apologize for my moodiness today.”

“It’s fine!” Udai chirped, “I just worry sometimes, you know if you ever need anything, you can talk to me?” Maybe, they were friends after all. Udai might be high maintenance, but looking at who Keiji’s dating, well, that doesn’t seem like too much of an issue for him. 

“I appreciate the sentiment,” he smiled, “I may take you up on that-”

“So, about earlier then-”   
  


“I didn’t say I would take you up on it now.” Keiji scolds. Udai laughs again. 

They eat in a comfortable silence, small talk occurring here and there. Udai pestered him about the V-League, who he knew, who his favorite teams were, etcetera. The man also tacked on a sly comment about already knowing who his favorite player was because, according to the mangaka, “Akaashi, you are not immune to nepotism.” Keiji smiled, there was something freeing about letting Udai know about his relationship. 

Telling Udai seemed to be the push he needed to realize what was best, for both him and his relationship. It was the push that made him realize that he was ready to take the leap from the hushed, late night conversations and stolen glances from across press events to being able to run into each other’s arms after a victory as if they were the main characters in a trashy romance novel. Keiji know longer felt the same rush of adrenaline in the secrecy nor the comfort of flying under the radar, now he feels like he’s being drowned by both. 

If they were public then maybe the league would allow Koutarou to take more trips to Tokyo to visit because then they would no longer be running the risk of a media scandal during the season. He was visiting next week, maybe Keiji would bring this up to him then.

“Hey, look! Isn’t that one of EJP’s middle blockers?” Udai said mid-bite, pointing in the direction of Onigiri Miya’s booth. Well, Keiji’s previous feeling had been correct - Suna Rintarou, was in fact, hiding in Osamu’s booth. 

“Mhm,” Keiji shook his head. This was the most least surprising thing that could have happened, given their current circumstances. 

“‘Wonder how the onigiri guy knows a pro-volleyball player,” Udai questions, “They seem to be, uh, quite close too.”

Keiji smiled, realizing that despite the fact that Udai was very perceptive, he was still oblivious to some more obvious things. Suna Rintarou and Miya Osamu had been in a public relationship since high school, and since Suna entered the V-League straight out of high school, it’s never not been a known fact. They never tried to hide anything, not like Osamu’s brother would have let them even if they tried. They were hugely popular online due to this, people loved their dynamic online and in interviews. The fans ate up Osamu’s snide comments on Atsumu’s posts that would then prompt Suna to say something witty as well, or in some cases drop an old video of the twins fighting. The connection between Onigiri Miya’s owner and the V-League was clear and well known - well, apparently to everyone except Udai Tenma. 

“You’re joking, right?” Keiji asked a confused Udai. 

“What? It’s a valid question!” 

“Not when Onigiri Miya’s twitter account is constantly harassing or being harrassed by Miya Atsumu, and then getting egged on by Suna. And, that’s ignoring the fact that they’ve been in a very public relationship since Suna went pro.” Keiji deadpanned, shaking his head slightly. 

Now, that he thought about it - there really wasn’t much for him to be scared of in terms of going public. From what Osamu’s told him, all of the attention he receives online are more based around his interactions with the V-Leaguers and not in regards to his personal life. Of course, there’s some of that, there always is, but for the most part people aren’t monitoring his whole life because at the end of the day he’s just the owner of Onigiri Miya. He’s not the one the attention is focused on, he’s just the side piece to the fans, they care more about Atsumu or Suna than him. Udai’s lack of knowledge on his connections to the V-League is evidence of that. 

Maybe, just maybe, he let his anxieties get the best of him. He was so focused on himself, dealing with what he was going through at the time - which at the time, was finishing school, finding a job, and getting accustomed to a partially long distance relationship. He forgot to think about the larger picture, he couldn’t see the view of the whole court, he became too focused on the metaphorical ball. He wasn’t able to view the obvious because he forgot that he can’t always control everything, and the public’s reception of his relationship was one of those things.

Udai’s mouth gaped, like he was a fish. “Are you joking?”

Keiji just gave him a look, does he ever jest?

“Okay, that was a dumb question, sorry.” 

He glanced at the food booth again, Suna was helping Osamu pack up for the day. They were domestically interacting with one another, as if they were in their own home and not out in the open for everyone to see. He could feel the jealousy brewing in his stomach.

Keiji was never one for grand, public gestures, he never liked having the spotlight on himself. He didn’t like having the attention on himself, but being with Koutarou made him less afraid of that. Koutarou shined in the spotlight, he was at his best when the whole world was watching, he thrived under the attentive gaze of an audience of thousands. 

* * *

  
  


Late one night in the middle of the summer heat, Keiji found himself seated at the bar inside Onigiri Miya’s new Tokyo branch. The store had closed about an hour prior, the lights were dimmed, and the strong scent of cleaning supplies hung dully in the air. However, despite the fact that the store was closed, he had remained in his seat fiddling with his hands as he listened to its loving owner, Osamu, lecture him about love of all things.

“It’s a scary prospect, I know, but it’s worth it - to be able to share yer relationship with the world, to not feel like yer drowning under the oppressive weight of yer partner’s infamy.” 

Keiji knew that Osamu knew what he was struggling with better than anyone else, but that doesn’t stop the negative thoughts from invading his mind. He had always been acutely aware of what others thought of him, he hated not being in control of a situation and that included what others thought about him. He would rather not know their opinions on him, but going public with his relationship wouldn’t give him much of a choice. People would constantly be voicing their opinions online, and it’s not like he could just ignore it, there’s no way of completely ignoring those kinds of things. 

But, then there was  _ who _ he was in a relationship with. Bokuto Koutarou was someone who had the innate ability to draw people in, there was no way to hide his bright, shining light. There was no shying away from the cameras with him, he wore his heart on his sleeve, and the person he presented to an audience was the same person he was behind closed doors. It’s one of the many reasons he loved him. It’s a scary feeling, but he loves it - like the rush of adrenaline from riding a rollercoaster. 

“Akaashi, are ya’ even listening?” Osamu huffed, laying the washcloth on the counter between them.

“Not as much as I should be, sorry.” Keji kept his eyes downcast, focusing on his fidgeting hands. 

Osamu and Keiji hadn’t been close in high school, actually they were barely even aware of the other’s existence. They knew  _ of _ one another through the general buzz of the high school volleyball scene, but they had never formally met. It was easy for them to be aware of each other, what with both Inarizaki and Fukuroudani’s reputations as powerhouse schools and with both teams having nationally ranked players at the time. Back then Osamu was just the  _ other  _ Miya twin, Atsumu’s brother, the spiker of the duo. And Akaashi was just Fukuroudani Academy’s official setter and vice captain, or in other words:  _ Bokuto’s _ setter and vice. They were faces that were in close proximity to the limelight, but never fully in the light itself, standing in the awkward position between the foreground and background.

Fate hadn’t allowed them to meaningfully cross paths until after both, Keiji and Osamu, had broken down their old labels, the ones that used to define them by their proximity and relation to others in their lives. They both had to find their own paths as individuals before they could converge with one another. So, It wasn’t till after college, after Bokuto and Atsumu had both joined the MSBY Black Jackals, did they truly meet one another.

That’s when they became close friends, a friendship forged in a mutual understanding of the trials of dating pro athletes and a shared love for onigiri. 

Since then, Osamu had become somewhat of a guide to Keiji, helping him navigate the harsh terrain of being romantically involved with a pro-volleyball player. Under the dim, fluorescent lights of the Tokyo branch of Onigiri Miya, they would have small conversations about the struggles of being head over heels for a star in their prime.

“Look, I’m not gonna tell ya’ what to do,” Osamu huffed, “But, I think it would do both you and Bokuto a service by going public with yer relationship.” Keiji just stared at him harshly, but he promptly ignored him and continued on. “I know it’s a scary prospect ‘n all, but it’s worth it, trust me. Especially, when yer involved with the likes of someone like Bokuto. Now, Rin’s nothin’ like ‘im, but ‘Tsumu is similar enough and I have a lifelong list of experiences with him. I know that’s a little different, since Tsumu is _my_ _brother_ ‘n all, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s an attention whore who can’t shut up.”

Keiji snorted, that description of Atsumu was a bit of an understatement if you asked him.

“But, if I had asked him to keep the fact that we were brothers underwraps, if that’s even possible, it would’ve killed him. When you know someone that well and care about them that much, ya’ don’t wanna act like you’ve never even heard of ‘em when yer in public, not when ya’ have such a deep and connected history. And, it’s even harder for people like them to keep those connections ‘n feelings hidden. Plus, that doesn’t change the fact that you can’t hide yer relationship forever, the press will find out eventually, they always do. They're like damn vultures.” 

He laughed at the prospect of the twins denying their relation to one another. Especially given that in high school, there was no hiding the fame of the Miya Twins in the high school sports scene. The eyes of the V-League had been on both of them from the first moment they stepped onto the court at their first national tournament in high school. People would have killed to see Osamu go pro along with his brother, but that wasn’t his calling, he hadn’t made volleyball his entire life like Atsumu had. 

Keiji exhaled deeply before he even thought about replying, letting Osamu’s words sink in some. The man was right, there was no hiding Bokuto’s passions, and he was passionate about two things: Volleyball and his love for Akaashi Keiji. The volleyball player put him up on the same grand pedestal that Keiji had placed him upon. Keiji was his world, and he was Keiji’s. Together they shined brightly in the darkness of the night, and he knew, deep down, that the clouds couldn’t cover their light for forever. 

“I know,” he replied, “I just need time to think-”

“It’s been years, ‘kaashi.” Osamu seemed exhausted of his endless excuses at this point, “Anyone who looks at either of ya’ can tell that this is beginning to eat both of you alive.” 

And, there’s Osamu’s world famous recipe for the cold, hard truth, including: zero sugar coating and specially prepared with 100% pure bluntness. 

Keiji’s thoughts swirled around in his head. He wanted to go public more than anything, for both his and Koutarou’s sake, but he didn’t know how to execute it in a way that would make himself comfortable. It kills him to even think about it because he knows that Koutarou wants to do it more than anything else, even if he won’t admit it to Keiji himself. The owl-like man wears his heart on his sleeve and loves to share his life with the world, and this secret was definitely a challenge for him to keep. The continuation of keeping their relationship under lock and key was creating a silent divide between the two of them, even if it wasn’t intentional.

“I’ve always had a hard time taking leaps of faith,” Keiji looked down at his intertwined hands, “The thought of losing control over a situation terrifies me. I know I can’t control Koutarou, that’s never been my intention in our relationship, but as much as he’s ready to take that jump, I’m not there yet. I want to be able to, but the prospect of taking that risk is still paralyzing for me.” 

“Well, ya’ said it yourself, you can’t control Bokuto. And, if he’s ready, then how long are ya’ gonna make him wait? Relationships are a give and take, and something _you,_ Akaashi Keiji, have to give up as his partner is some of yer personal privacy. Ya’ gotta open yourself up to the press a little, allow them to shine a light on ya’ just a teeny bit, for the sake of yer partner. It’s annoying, sure, but it’s necessary.” Osamu looked him straight in the eyes so he couldn’t run from what he was about to say, “You always talk about how ya’ love seeing him shine at his brightest, right? Well aren’t ya’ eclipsing some of his light by carrying on this whole masquerade?”

That simple question struck him all the way down to his core because that’s exactly what he had been doing all along. He could feel his eyes widen upon realization.

Keiji had gone home later that night and found that he could barely sleep, his brain wouldn’t slow down as it continuously replayed their conversation on repeat. Those words that Osamu spoke to him that night continued to reverberate in his skull for months. He just couldn’t let go of them, and in his soul he knew exactly why he couldn’t let go of them. 

Stars can’t be hidden, and once a constellation is made, it cannot be forgotten. Who was Keiji to try and block the clouds from revealing the clear, sparkling sky that he loved so much? 

  
  


* * *

  
  


In the weeks following the convention, Udai continuously pestered Keiji about the MSBY Black Jackal’s and his relationship with their ace. It was tiring, but slightly comforting. He knew that the other man didn’t mean anything by it, he was simply just trying to be interested in his friend’s life. However, Udai  _ should _ have been focusing on his upcoming deadlines instead of trying to pry into his editor’s love life. 

Udai had also begun to pester him about his other friends, as now the other man had begun to believe that Keiji had been hiding a whole network of famous friends. The funniest part of it is that he really isn’t entirely wrong, he did have quite a few famous friends that Udai was acutely unaware of. It’s not that Keiji cared if Udai knew about them or not, he could easily confirm his suspicions if he checked who was following his editor on social media, but it was fun to mess with him a little. He considers it payback for his failure to meet so many deadlines, or with little stress at least. 

The convention had been an eye-opener for Keiji, he promised himself to start discussing going public with Koutarou that next weekend when he visited. Now did he do this? No. However, he began to formulate a plan. This plan: go to Koutarou’s upcoming game in Sendai, hope that he wins, after they win run up to him on the court and do something. He wasn’t fully sure what he wanted to do, but some form of affection, whatever feels right at that time he supposes. He can’t count on Kou winning, so he has to take that into consideration (but he doesn’t doubt that he will find a way to). 

Despite his age, Keiji never outgrew his continuous want to be in control at all times, and in his mind telling Koutarou about this plan would be him giving up some of this control. The man was horrible about containing his excitement for things, and they could orchestrate everything perfectly, and he would find a way to divert from said plan. Koutarou wanted to go public horribly, however, he always respected Keiji’s wishes for privacy despite this. Making this a surprise, and doing it upon his own terms, was his thanks to Koutarou for all of the love and support he gave him throughout the years. He was gentle and infinitely understanding, and going public in a grand way, a way that showed the world the depth of their love and commitment to one another, was exactly what he wanted. 

Bokuto Koutarou was at his best when he was in the spotlight, and Keiji grabbing ahold of the pen writing his story and going public with their relationship in a manner that grabbed that spotlight was perfect. He wanted to do it in the way that Koutarou would want, but would never suggest because in his mind Keiji would never go for it since he hated grand public gestures. There was something exciting about the prospect of having all the attention of them for a few moments, but his mind would never let him not acknowledge the risks of it. He was still extremely apprehensive about this. The voice in the back of his brain kept telling him that this would be a bigger mess than just announcing it on social media, but he had made up his mind on this - Keiji was going to go through with this plan. 

The world has now decided to see the stars align perfectly, and Keiji needed the world to know the story of his favorite constellation as it was present for all to see in the clear night sky. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


For some reason, the moment Keiji felt the most in control in his life was during the match against Mujinazaka. Ironically, he was starting to come undone during this moment as well, he felt in control of his life, but of nothing else. Fate was in his hands, but the pressure of the fate of his team fell heavy on his shoulders and made him crack. He ended up being benched soon after this, but in the moments leading up to this - part of the reason his focused mind cracked was because of this realization. This realization became a momentary distraction that caused his thoughts to spiral down only moments after. 

The revelation that he made at this time, he hadn’t even realized he made till after the game. For once, Akaashi Keiji, a chronic over thinker, without a second thought proudly announced a life changing revelation to everyone on the court and observing the game. 

“No matter what other people may say, we are the protagonists of the world.” 

He hadn’t comprehended the weight of his own words in that solitary moment, he’s not even sure if he realized that he had even said them aloud until later that night. 

At that moment, nothing else mattered, it was only him and Bokuto on that court as he sent a point scoring set to his ace. The odds felt like they were stacked against them, but none of that mattered at that time, even if the world came crumbling around him only moments later. 

Bokuto had heard him, and in that moment, the stars connected once again, even if it was unknown to both of them at the time. The stars connected and they found out that they were the sole controllers of fate in that moment.

It was transcribed that that was the defining moment for both of them, the moment they both realized that the world was nothing if their paths were not connected and intertwined. And, to everyone watching this was painfully obvious. 

* * *

  
  


Distance made things hard, it made everything so much harder, but despite this distance they still felt like they were connected at all times. Physical reminders of Koutarou left him both comforted and with a sense of longing for the man. Keiji was able to cope though, knowing the exact dates that he would see the other next. 

The important part was that they were able to make it work. All the small moments, the few lazy sunday mornings that they were able to wake up next to each other, the small hang outs at their friend’s apartments, made it all worth it. It’s not like they never heard from each other in the time between though, they talked on the phone every moment they got and texted each other periodically throughout the day. But, that all felt like it was nothing in comparison to the moments they spent in each other’s presence. All those late night phone calls and good morning texts built up to their small reunions. 

All of those moments built up to this moment right here. 

Akaashi Keiji found himself standing at the train station in Sendai City, the largest city in the Miyagi Prefecture, with his Mangaka, Udai Tenma, accompanying him. Sendai was the location for the MSBY Black Jackals game against the Schweiden Alders, the game where Hinata Shouyou would finally be playing against his old teammate and partner, Kageyama Tobio. This game was monumental for every person who had ever played with them or came into contact with them during their high school careers, it was seen as a reunion for all of the old teams. All eyes were on them, but Keiji’s eyes were going to remain on Bokuto Koutarou.

Koutarou wasn’t aware of his presence in Sendai, he didn’t inform him that he was going to be watching the game today. Keiji did that purposefully in another attempt to make his plan go perfectly. Udai wasn’t even informed about it. 

This plan, however, doesn’t stop Keiji from being nervous about it, he was still extremely apprehensive about it all. He may have made his mind up about this, but he was never great about just trusting his instincts, he always tends to get caught up in his head. Thoughts continue to swirl in his head, about everything that could go wrong, but he knew that this would be worth it in the end. He had to trust his own gut in this. 

He had asked Udai to accompany him to the match because he would be the most lowkey, all of the old Fukuroudani members would draw too much attention or end up figuring out what he was planning to do. And, he knew that if any of them, specifically Konoha or Komi, had pieced it together they would end up relentlessly making fun of him and he would end up psyching himself out. Inviting Kenma would mean inviting Kuroo, who was already apparently attending the game, and the two of them together were worse than Konoha and Komi together. The former members of Nekoma were extremely perceptive and could read him like a book, and Kuroo had the annoying tendency to tease everyone about everything and Kenma’s presence just exacerbated this. Plus, according to the ex-setter, Nekoma was having a reunion and watching the match together at his house, so it’s not like he would have been free anyway. 

Udai was perceptive, sure, and could read Keiji fairly well, but he didn’t know Bokuto and he didn’t know how their relationship worked. He wouldn’t be able to judge what he was going to do, or what was running through his head at any given moment because he didn’t know what his dynamic with his ex-captain was like. He needed support, but by someone who wouldn’t question him so pointedly and wouldn’t mind remaining in the dark. Udai would definitely ask questions, that’s for sure, but Keiji had gotten fairly good at shutting down the man’s more invasive questions. 

The two of them quickly departed from the station and made their way to the stadium where the match was being held. With every step closer to the stadium, every tick of the clock, he became more anxious. Keiji fell into his old habit of fiddling with his hands when he was nervous. The reality of his plan and his situation began to set in when he finally entered the gates of the stadium. All eyes will be on him, judging him, for a few moments when he finally executes his plan. However, he feels like everyones’ eyes are already on him as he walks in with the rest of the crowd. In reality, he knows that very few people are aware of his connection to the Jackal’s ace player, but his own knowledge of it is enough to put him on edge. 

Keiji’s anxious mind was at play, but he wouldn’t allow it to spiral. He wouldn’t allow himself to get psyched out, to quit while he was ahead, to abandon the reason why he came here today instead of deciding to watch the match in the company of the rest of Fukuroudani’s old team. He promised himself that he would do this, and he refused to let himself down - to let Koutarou down. 

Udai had been giving him strange looks since they boarded the train back in Tokyo, but had yet to vocalize any of his concerns above asking if he was alright a few times. But, as soon as they set their things down in their nosebleed seats (Keiji picked them specifically because it would be harder for Koutarou to pick him out of the crowd the farther he was from the court), he voiced his concerns fully.

“Akaashi, stop. You keep saying your fine, but you’re obviously not.” Udai looked him straight in the eye, “You only fidget like that when you’re nervous, now what’s up?”

Keiji took a deep breath, trying to gain some composure before speaking, “It’s a big match, I’m nervous for my friends that’s all, don’t worry yourself.” 

It was a lie, sure, but it was believable. Well, to an extent, he was nervous for them given the status of this match, but that wasn’t the main source of his nerves. 

Udai gave him a deadpan look, he knew that wasn’t really true. “Oh really? For some reason, I feel like there’s something else bothering you above that.” 

“Don’t concern yourself with my feelings, Udai-san. I’ll be fine.” 

“Fine, be like that.” The former Karasuno player huffed, “But, you know we’re friends, whether you like it or not, and I know you invited me for a reason above wanting some company. You do have other friends that you are closer to, and I am aware of that fact.” 

“Udai-san,” he rubbed his hands over his eyes in exasperation, “Please, I do not wish to discuss this further, it’s really not a big deal.”

Udai rolled his eyes, he knew the man wasn’t content with the answer he got, but he knew he’d take it for now. Keiji glanced down at the court, the game hadn’t begun yet, but the players had started to warm up. In other words, there were mear moments until the whistle would be blown and it would begin. 

Udai had tried to bring the topic up a few more times, but eventually the game began and both of their attentions were diverted to the court. The first set was amazing, every player playing at their fullest capabilities - it was almost scary. The thought that he used to share a court with one of these players, that he had trained with multiple of them, played up against almost half of each of the starting lineups at least once, was insane to him. Keiji’s high school years were some of his best years, they almost didn’t feel real at times because of this. Most players from the powerhouse schools at the time didn’t go pro, like himself, he knew he wasn’t alone in that, but the fact that at one point he was on the same level as some of these players was almost unbelievable. It was probably more unbelievable to every other spectator in the audience, blissfully unaware of the large collection of various celebrities and others that had major connections to the V-League’s monster generation. How would they react to the knowledge that  _ The _ Kodzuken used to play on the same team as Yamamoto Taketora? That Semi Eita, the famous musician, used to set for Ushijima Wakatoshi? That Kageyama Tobio tried to get tips from every other decent setter he came into contact with, which included himself and the other two aforementioned celebrities? That Kodzuken’s infamous partner had been best friends with Bokuto Beam since high school? And, the list goes on and on. It was quite an amusing thought truly. 

The Black Jackals ended up taking the first set with a score of 25 to 21. 

Bokuto Koutarou was playing at his best today, and the commentators had made notice of it multiple times. The man had come so far since high school, his mood swings rarely ever happened anymore, by the man’s own words he was just an “ordinary ace”, even if he was the exact opposite to everyone watching. Keiji’s pride for the owl-like ace swelled as he watched the man play. (A fact that he’s sure that Udai could tell, but thankfully he had refrained from making a comment about it yet.) But, he couldn’t help but be proud. He had been a major part of the man’s journey, he was one of the leading reasons why he was the player he was today, and the fact made him extremely proud. 

Keiji had aided a star in his journey, and that’s something he took pride in even if no one else saw that. All of the late nights helping him practice after everyone else had left, every late night talking to the man about his problems, helping him in more ways than just technique, being his shoulder to lean on, it was all made worth it in moments like these. 

With every serve, every receive, every block, every spike, and every point scored, the game continuously got better. Every player on the court got better as it went on, the energy created by Hinata and Kageyama’s decade long promise finally coming to fruition was clearly affecting every player on the court in the best way possible. It was obvious to Keiji and everyone else watching that this was the best match of the season, if not the last few. From the few times he has left his seat since the start of the game, he had already spotted multiple familiar faces. Keiji was confronted with the faces of old opponents from high school, ones who were in the same position he was, there to support their own former teammates and friends, but also to see the resolution to a rivalry that the world was only beginning to see, but that they had been viewing since high school. 

But, they weren’t there for the same reasons as him because he was here for more. Keiji couldn’t let himself get wrapped up in the mood, he was here for a reason and he couldn’t forget that. 

Hinata and Kageyama were important, and he was honestly thankful that he was able to see the completion of the promise that they made all those years ago, the promise that dedicated their relationship from the moment they met, but it’s not what he was here to focus on. Keiji was here for Bokuto and more importantly, he was here for himself. 

With every successful spike, and honestly with every unsuccessful play as well, Keiji grew prouder and prouder. The world was finally able to see Bokuto Koutarou in the same lens that he was. The world was finally able to see his ace at his best. The fans ate up Bokuto’s signature serve routine, Udai made some snarky comment about how the player’s signature beam was directed at Keiji, himself, more than it was the audience, but he decided to not dignify that with a response since he was probably correct. 

He saw tens of children and adults alike wearing mock-Bokuto jerseys, it warmed his heart to see people show their love for him, but there’s nothing he wanted more than to broadcast his love for him to the world as well. Keiji thinks that he’s finally come to terms with his internal conflict in regards to going public. He’s 100% sure this is what he wants, but that doesn’t erase the doubt and anxiety, all of the what if’s, all the unknowns. He knows, in his heart, Koutarou won’t be upset, that’ll he’ll be ecstatic if anything, but, there’s always that possibility that just like Keiji, himself, he wanted a say in how it was done, wanted some control of it. This is a relationship after all, there’s supposed to be communication and they’re supposed to make decisions together, but Keiji had decided to take this into his own hands.

Was this the right choice? He didn’t have time to ponder that now. 

He promised himself this. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The game came to a conclusion when Bokuto executed a powerful straight spike, breaking past Kageyama’s block. The MSBY Black Jackals took the win in a 3-1 game, there hadn’t even been the need for a full five sets. Keiji had never been prouder of his old ace, he honestly felt like crying tears of joy. This game meant something to everyone, not just Kageyama and Hinata, everyone participating had something to prove. That’s what made it fun to watch. 

Bokuto Koutarou gave the crowd a blinding smile, and pumped his hands into the air as the buzzer signifying match point rang through the gymnasium. The crowd went wild cheering and screaming as the winning team celebrated down on the court.

The audience began filling out of their seats, into the rest of the stadium to leave or whatever it may be. In order to miss the crowd, Keiji had already abandoned his original seat in the nose bleeds, opting to watch the last few moments of the match standing near the exit, so he could get to the court as soon as possible. As soon as the last point was scored, he disappeared into the hallways outside of the gymnasium. 

Udai had promised to stay in their seats, or close by, as he went to do something. Keiji felt bad being so vague, and the mangaka was obviously not impressed with his lack of details, but he needed to do this alone. He weaved in between people as 

He weaved in between fans as he tried to get to the other side of the hallway. Finally, finding an opening, he ran to the lower entrance of the Black Jackal’s side of the court, flashing security the badge Koutarou had given him all those years ago when they first started seeing each other that would get him into the team’s restricted areas, Akaashi Keiji had finally reached the floor of the court. There was no going back from this, no backing out. 

Keiji tried to break through a hussle of VIP guests and press who were all sitting on the floor of the court, waving toward Koutarou desperately trying to get the ace’s attention. It was pure chaos, but he had a clear view of his objective. 

All eyes had been on Hinata and Kageyama for the entirety of the match, but the match was over now.

He never liked being the center of attention, but he would be damned if all eyes were not on him and his star in the next few moments. 

“Koutarou!” He cupped his hands around his mouth, trying to amplify his voice. The owl-like ace turned his head at his name being called, and they instantly made eye contact. Keiji broke out into the biggest smile he could muster (which wasn’t very hard, he was in a great mood) and waved his arms back and forth. Koutarou’s face of confusion shifted into pure joy and excitement, a look that he would never get tired of.

In that moment, the stars and planets both aligned for another small moment as they ran towards each other. Keiji and Koutarou met halfway, parting the tide of the crowd with their connection. Koutarou wasn’t much taller than himself, but as soon as they met face to face, Keiji pulled the taller man down into a leap of faith.

Their mouths met and the other man’s initial shock immediately melted away into their very public, and grand show of affection. 

Keiji didn’t care that all eyes were on them at that moment, all that mattered to him was that he was finally not hiding, he was no longer running from fate. He was glad that all eyes were on him, and surprisingly the gasps and whistles he heard distantly, he was aware that there were people still left in the stands, staring in shock and pointing at him right now. But, none of that mattered to him, the attention didn’t bother him one bit. He felt like fireworks had just gone off all around them, that the thing that was missing in both their lives had disappeared, all of their worries disappearing into the wind. Having Koutarou close, meant keeping him close forever, and this is what he was trying to do with this action. 

The star shined greater in that moment than it had ever before. Keiji held the star close, the same star that made him realize that he was a star himself. He owed everything to this star, and this moment was his way of thanking him for everything. 

The constellation that was made all those years ago, the one that hadn’t been seen in the five years since Keiji had last played on the same court as Koutarou, was finally visible again. This time, it was visible for everyone to see.

* * *

  
  


Their relationship wasn’t ideal, no relationship ever is. There’s always a give and take, aspirations that are never met, bumps along the road, but all of those issues make it worth it in the end. They might not have the pleasure of waking up next to each other every morning, at least not yet, but they don’t need that to feel fulfilled within their relationship. Their love still lasts despite their distance, they’ll survive this. 

When Akaashi Keiji was fifteen he felt like anything but the protagonist of his story, he didn’t even feel like a noteworthy footnote in the grand scheme of the world. But, he wasn’t fifteen anymore. After falling for a star and deciding to take the leap of faith in joining it on its journey through the heavens, he feels like he’s finally in control of his story. That he, Akaashi Keiji, is the protagonist. Or, at least one of them. 

The stars mean nothing, they are just rocks in space, humans prescribed a meaning to them when they created constellations. Constellations are a construct of the human imagination, just as the concept of a guiding star is. Every star in the sky is equal, none of them are more important or special than the others. They simply just exist, they don’t have some grand story behind their creation or placement in the sky. Keiji realized the same goes for people, they all exist on this earth for the same reason. No one’s life has any predescribed greatness to it, we create the greatness we achieve. But, just like with stars, humans love to daydream about the greater meaning to their own existence and to romanticize the stories we learn in history class, effectively making them into legends. Everyone is their own protagonist. Humans walk the earth, just as stars shine in the night sky. They all exist equally, it’s not till we go and forge our own stories and share them, do others place a greater importance on them. Even at that, we forge our own way and no force gets to do that for us. 

Akaashi Keiji (22) Manga editor for Shonen Jump Vie, upon this realization finally began to write his own story in night sky using star dust as his ink, and it would have never been possible without his guiding star, Bokuto Koutarou. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> First off, thanks so much for reading my fic!!! Kudos and comments are much appreciated it!! Please tell me what you think, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!! :D
> 
> This is the longest complete fic I've written to date and it was kind of a beast to write, honestly. I know it's not super long, but this was definitely a change of pace for me, especially with all of the inner monologues and flashbacks. I'll be honest, I went into writing this fic with not much more than a feeling and a vague concept. Basically, I knew I wanted to do an Akaashi character study set in the timeskip and I kinda wanted to mess around with non-linear storytelling without fully committing to it. There was a lot of avenues I wanted to explore with this, like Akaashi and Kenma's friendship, but I didn't want to shoehorn anything in, and Osamu ended up fitting the role a little better than Kenma did given the circumstances. Anyways, who knows I might do a one-shot inspired by this in the future delving into some of that stuff a little more. I had to demonstrate a lot of restrain though, seriously, there was so much I wanted to do, I had such a hard time choosing what to do. 
> 
> Anyways, I didn't really go in with much of a roadmap or a plan. I got the initial idea for the anime convention setting (which is the section I wrote first before I wrote any of the other parts) from the lovely SakuAtsu fic 4-Day Pass by dai_naning, which is apart of their larger series Omi-san + Kitsune-san - which I highly recommend by the way. Basically, I read that fic and was like "hmm Akaashi is a manga editor, he's probably been dragged to one of these before! Let's write about that!" So, I do have to credit them for the inspiration for this, specifically for the idea of the lone V-League merch table. 
> 
> You can probably tell that quite a few of these moments were very self indulgent, specifically the Onigiri Miya flashback scene, and they absolutely were. This whole fic was lowkey self indulgent. Anyways, I really like the idea of Osamu and Akaashi being friends in the timeskip, I think it fits really well. I also find it very interesting, and I may write a Sunaosa fic featuring it more heavily in the future, but who knows. Also, you can probs tell I'm lowkey afraid of writing Bokuto lmao I sorta avoided it here. 
> 
> Anyways, my Tumblr is @Wondergirl-lovebot, so come yell at me if you'd like or if you just wanna talk about the fic or hq in general :)  
> Also, here's a link to the Spotify Playlist I made and listened to while writing a majority of this fic: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6xz2SLNDPKgMvPr1aDeKaW?si=9teyJ39ARPKwWI2g4RINjw (the vibes are a lil all over the place, but they're not too all over the place lmao)


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